Update

As you can probably surmise from my lack of posts this month, it is very difficult for me to write anything at this point in time. We continue to grieve the death of our son Aaden and honestly at times, it feels even more painful than ever. Yesterday, as I was driving back to our house (the house that Ashlee cannot bear to go in) to retrieve a few things, a song came on the radio. It was the song that was playing when we brought Andrew (not Aaden) home from the hospital. I cried my eyes out in the car. You would have thought that this song would have brought joy to my face but it seems as though the strangest things that happen now can trigger the sadness of losing our Aaden.

Ashlee and I are in survival mode. We are taking it one painstaking minute at a time. We also know how to put up a pretty good front. Most of our pain and sadness comes out in places like a bedroom or a car as noted above. This all feels so surreal to me that honestly I wake up most days and hope that he will be there. But then the harsh reality sets in and punches me in the face. Our second born son is gone and there is nothing that is going to change that.

Moving forward is so arbitrary. But we know that it must happen so we are attempting to do so.

Drew is helping us through this process and making the transition somewhat manageable. Yesterday he put his first two word combo together. He said “Bye Bye Da Da.” Before it was just “Da Da” (as you know) or “Bye Bye” or even “Da Bye Bye Da.” But no, not yesterday. He finally crossed over into the English language. I know it’s big time, you don’t have to tell me 🙂

That being said, Ashlee and I still need your prayers. We will probably never stop needing them. Please remember us.

I will try to update now more often. It’s a process; a very slow process.

12 Comments

  • Chris Harvey says:

    I have no idea what you guys are going through. All I can say is that I’m sorry and that I will continue to pray.

    Thanks for sharing bro.

  • Noelle says:

    Hey Aaron and Ashlee,

    I know that there are hundreds of people that wish we could take your pain away. You are all being prayed for.

  • Tina C says:

    You are an amazing couple! We will continue to pray for you.

  • Ben Arment says:

    Aaron, my heart is so broken for you and Ashlee. I don’t even know what to say. Just know that we love you and are praying for you. Wish I could be there to give you a hug. Thinking about you guys every day.

  • Tracy seefried says:

    aaron & ashlee…tears roll down my face as i read your words…as a parent, i can’t even imagine the heartache you are enduring. I’m so sad. We are praying for you. In Our Father, The Seefrieds

  • Ryan Mc says:

    Dude, I love you. Your courage, your faithfulness, your humility, your strength. You are a shining example of Christ in my and many others lives. I can only hope that I will become half the man and minister and husband you are every second of everyday. I love you and Ashlee, you never far from my thoughts and prayers.

  • Dale South says:

    Aaron and Ashlee.
    Thank you so much for allowing us into your lives. As you shared about Drew, Isaiah 11:6 came to mind “The wolf will live with the lamb, and the leopard will lie down with the goat. The calf, the young lion, and the fatling will be together, and a child will lead them.”

  • Stacie Gordon Seltmann says:

    Oh, Aaron!! I am so sorry and sad for you guys! Your family will definitely be in our thoughts and prayers!

  • Ginger says:

    Hey Ashlee and Aaron,
    If only I knew the words to say to help ease your grief…but thankfully we know the One and Only Jesus, who will sustain you through this loss.
    You and all your family are in our prayers…we love you all!!

  • D Plum says:

    Hey, buddy…

    Post as little… or as much… as you need to. We understand. Can’t imagine your pain, but I’m praying buttloads for you guys. Hope to connect soon…

    Plum

  • Karla says:

    Thank your for your raw honesty. My heart grieves with you and I lift you and Ashlee in my prayers especially through the holidays. May God meet each moment’s needs with his intimate knowledge love, support and strength. May His balm of Gilead soothe each raw emotional wound to remove this pain and create in its place new healing that will strengthen (in its ability to heal)your awareness of His love and gifts for you. And I pray for new memories to fill your empty yearning hearts.
    Much love and support. If I can be of any assistance let me know.
    Karla

  • Audrey Woodhams says:

    Aaron,

    Love, prayers, and more love to you and Ashlee and your family.

    Thank you for writing. Your testimony is one of God’s mercy and strength and faith. Mercy that is new every morning. Strength right there with you every moment. Faith so powerful that even a mustard seed of it can move mountains.

    Thank you for giving us a window in. We know more now how to pray, and certainly will continue to.

    Lifting you up from Switzerland,
    Audrey Woodhams

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